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Kermit ran on stage waving his arms in the air.   “It’s the Muppet Show with our special guest star, Diva Plavalaguna from The Fifth Element,” Kermit announced.

The opening theme played everyone was on their mark, no problems.

“Thank and welcome again to the Muppet Show.  Tonight we have a special show for Christmas, there will be carols and Christmas delights and special music by the Diva Plavalguna.  But first a song.”

Kermit exited stage right, waving his arm as the curtain opened.

A snowman waved his stick arms and sang, ‘There’s snow place like home for the holidays.”

“Good job snowman,” Kermit said as the performer came back stage at the end of the number.

“Well, you know what they say, ‘There’s snow business like snow business’.”

“Right.  Right,” Kermit laughed lightly as he checked his clipboard.  “Gonzo on stage to do ‘The Gonzo who Stole Christmas’. Gonzo on Stage,” Kermit called into the PA system.

Gonzo came running out with a silly Santa hat and coat.  Camilla was quick on his heals wearing a small set of antlers tied to her head.

It didn’t take long before the audience grew restless of Gonzo’s craziness and they booed him off the stage.

Kermit shook his head as carollers strode on stage with wooden buckets in hand.

“Here we come a-washing, using our tubs to clean.  Here we go a-laundering-“ they sang.

Sam the Eagle stormed on stage.  “No, no, no,” he chastised.  “It’s not washing, it’s wassailing.”

Kermit shook his head again as the curtain closed.  He rushed out to introduce the next act.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce our guest star, Diva Plavalguna backed by a chorus of knights.  Yay,” he cheered as he fled the stage.

The beautiful blue skinned singer gracefully went to centre stage.  A group of old suits of armour in dire need of repairs clanked to stand behind the diva.  The orchestra began playing then the diva sang, “O Holey Knight.”

The carollers went back on stage.  “Here we come a-wandering, over the hills so green; here we come a-walking so nice to be seen,” they sang as they roamed the stage.

Sam rushed on.  “I told you it’s wassailing.  How ignorant can you be?”

“Ah, better luck next time fellows,” Kermit said as he walked on to introduce Fozzie.

“Waka-waka.  Here I am folks, it’s time to tell the holiday jokes,” laughed as he came on to perform.

“What do Santa’s elves learn in school?” Fozzie paused for dramatic emphasis.  “The elfabet.”  He wiggled his ears waiting for the audience to laugh.

“Ah, okay, here’s another one.  Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?  Because it was in need of trimming.  Oh, I am so funny,” Fozzie said, laughing.

“Which reindeer has to do all the cleaning at the North Pole?  No guesses?” Fozzie looked around the audience.  “Comet.”

“Why did the Christmas star have problems with the alphabet?” He took his hat of and wrung it, waiting for a response from the audience.  “Because he had Noel.”

“That’s better than you,” Waldorf grumbled.  “You have no hope.”

“True and usually he just has no point,” Stantler added.

“Oh, you guys.  Did you hear the carol of a mute crusader?” Fozzie tried to ignore the old hecklers and carry one with his act.  “It’s called silent knight.”

“We wish you would be silent,” Waldorf snapped.

“Then it would be a good night,” Stantler added with a chuckle.

“Oh phooey on you.  Where’s your holiday spirit?” Fozzie pleaded.

“Probably lost in the same place your sense of humour,” Waldorf groaned.

Fozzie gasped and groaned then hung his head and whimpered as he left the stage.

The carollers went back on.  Kermit hoped they got the words right, for Sam stood at the edge of the stage ready to pounce if they got it wrong again.

They started singing so quietly that they could barely be heard.

Here we come a-whispering, so quietly we sing.  Here we come a-whispering; not even a bell we ring.”

“Wassailing,” Sam yelled.  “How many times must I tell you?  It’s wassailing.”

Kermit helped shoo the carollers off stage as he prepared for his next introduction.

The Diva sang a haunting rendition of The Coventry Carol.  The audience cheered.

The next couple of acts went smoothly.

For the closing number the Diva sent on stage with the carollers.

The diva didn’t really sing words, but her high pitched tones were a delight.  Then the carollers opened their mouths.

“Here we come a wailing
So eager and keen
Here we come a-singing
With our blue queen”

Sam ran onstage and started chasing the carollers.  Kermit rand onstage to try to get Sam off the stage.  Gonzo ran onstage calling for Camilla.  Muppets ran one way and the next.  All the while the diva kept singing.

Only when the diva bowed did the curtain close.  Kermit sighed as he fumbled to get to the other side of the curtain.

“And so we come to the end of a festive Muppet Show.  And we owe a big round of applause to our special guest Diva Plavalaguna,” Kermit said in closing.

The audience cheered.  Other Muppets came onstage and mingled around.  The carollers came out followed by Sam the American Bald Eagle. 

“For the last time, it’s wassailing.”



Written for consci_fan_mo

 

A Sad Day

“It’s a sad day,” Leonard commented watching the news.

“Truly, he did ‘Live long and prosper’,” Raj added.

“Star Trek will never be the same,” Howard choked.

“Hmm, good thing I got that napkin signed when I did,” Penny said, looking at Sheldon.

The napkin.  The napkin Penny had Leonard Nimoy sign.  The dirty napkin that contained DNA.

“I possess the DNA of Leonard Nimoy?” Sheldon had exclaimed at the priceless gift.

It was a good thing that Sheldon had been properly storing the napkin with the valuable DNA to keep it viable.

Cloning technology had come along.

Sheldon shifted delightfully in his chair.  There was so much to do.


Written for consci_fan_mo

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Dark Time

“The dark time is coming,” shouted the city guard.

All the workers in the field looked to the north.  The sky was still clear.

“Back to work,” the foreman grumbled.

Tess took one last look at the sky.  She sighed as she got back to weeding.

It wasn’t even ten minutes later when the guard called out the second warning.  That meant they had seen the swarm, for sure, not just thinking they saw it.

Tess looked around the field.  The other weeders looked nervous.  The foremen had shelter.  The harvesters had shelter because they didn’t want any crop to be lost.  But there was no shelter for the poor souls who did the weeding.

“It’s still early,” the foreman barked.  “Keep working or you’ll be sacked.”

Everyone continued working.  Tess was the last one to bend over to grab the invasive plants.

“Dark time is coming, dark time is coming, dark time is coming,” the guards frantically shouted the final warning.

Tess threw down the weeds she had collected.

“You’re done here,” the foreman sneered.

“My life is worth so much more than you lot pay,” Tess said as she ran to the closest public shelter.

There was no time to get back within the city wall.  There wasn’t enough time to get home.  There would hopefully be enough time to get to the shelter by the river.

She couldn’t die at the hands of the demon swarm.  She just couldn’t.  What would her little brother do then?  He had no one else.

The shelter came into view.  The doorman had a look of pure horror on his face.

“Run, girl.  Just run,” he bellowed.

She didn’t turn.  She didn’t look.  She ran with all her might.  She ran so hard it hurt to breathe.  She ran because her life depended on it.

 

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Time Machine - Big Bang Theory pic

“Tardis,” Sheldon stated.

“DeLorean,” Howard countered.

“The Tardis is so much more practical,” Leonard pointed out.

“DeLorean has the cool factor,” Howard stressed.

“Tardis is roomier,” Leonard said, leaning in closer to make his point.

“It’s bigger on the inside,” they all chimed in chorus.

“With the DeLorean we have a chance to pick up chicks,” Raj eagerly chimed in.

Sheldon squirmed in his seat.  “The Tardis is superior in so many ways…”

“DeLorean is more reliable,” Howard countered.

“I’m not sure about that,” Leonard hesitantly muttered.

“The DeLorean is easier to use,” Howard blurted out.

Sheldon lowered his head to glare.  “What is easier than pushing random buttons and flipping levers?”

“There’s still too much other work to be done on our time machine before we can choose what it’s going to look like,” Leonard said, to try to get them to focus.

Little Firefly

Title: Little Firefly
Author:  crashtestskater
Fandom: Firefly
Rating:  G
Spoilers:  None
Warnings:  None
Summary: River singing causes Jayne frustration
Word Count: 187

Written for http://consci-fan-mo.livejournal.com/

“Little firefly, bye, bye, bye
Into space, fly, fly, fly
No more blue sky, sky, sky
I tell you, I’m shy, shy, shy
No, no, don’t cry, cry, cry,” River’s singing echoed through the ship.

Jayne grumbled.  “How long is she gonna keep up that gorram silly singing?”  He pulled down the earflaps of his orange tuque tight over his ears and growled again.

“Leave her be,” Shepherd Book said with his steady, calm voice.  “She’s not hurtin’ anyone or the ship.”

Kaylee nodded and gave a small smile.

“Malcolm go now, try, try, try,” River continued to sing.

The captain shook his head.  He didn’t need that crazy kid goin’ on about him.

“Try not to die, die, die”

Everyone stopped eating.  Eyes darted around the table.  Recent events obviously brought to mind.  It was a bloody miracle that they got off that roasting rock in one piece.  Sure, they got a few more scars, but they survived.

“Jayne you strange guy, guy, guy.”

Everyone but Jayne burst out laughing.  Jayne groaned and jabbed his stew with his fork.  The tension gone.  The family feeling returned.
 

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Knock Knock

Title: Knock.  Knock
Author:  crashtestskater
Fandom:  The Muppet Show
Characters: Fozzie and Rowlf
Rating:  G
Spoilers:  None
Summary: Fozzie goes out to do his comedy sketch and is interrupted by Rowlf
Notes:  Reference to Doctor Who
Word Count: 268

This was written for day 6 of http://consci-fan-mo.livejournal.com/ Happy St. Nicholas Day everyone.


Fozzie ran on stage.  “Hiya.  Hiya.  Hiya.  Hi to all you great folks.  It’s Fozzie Bear here to tell the jokes.”

He looked up to the box where Statler and Waldorf usually sit.  The box was empty.  No hecklers.  No hecklers!

He adjusted his tie.  This was going to be good.

“Okay.  Okay.  Okay.  Here we go.  Knock.  Knock.”

The audience did their part and said, “Who’s there?”

“The Doctor,” Fozzie said as he put his hand on his tie.

“Doctor Who?” the audience chorused.

Fozzie took of his hat.  “Just the Doctor,” he said, spreading his arms wide and wiggling his ears.

Rowlf the Dog walked on stage, wearing his Dr. Bob costume for Veterinarian’s Hospital.  “You called?” Rowlf said.

Fozzie scratched his head and put his hat back on.  “What are you doing on stage?” he hissed to the dog.

Rowlf tilted his head side to side.  “You called for a doctor, didn’t you?” he whispered.

Fozzie sighed.  He held his head in his paw.  “It was a joke.”

“It’s no joke to call for help when you don’t need it.  Remember the story of the Boy who Cried Rowlf?

“Shouldn’t that be the Boy who Cried Wolf?” Fozzie asked, scratching his head.

“I’m a dog not a wolf,” Rowlf said then stormed off the stage.

Fozzie looked side to side.  His eyes glanced up at the empty box.  What would the old guys say to heckle him?

“Ah,” Fozzie exclaimed.  “I wonder if the Boy Who cried wolf is the son of Doctor Who?  Ah-ha.  Waka waka.  I am so funny.”

He exited stage right.
 

Teaching French

Another quick update on my life.  I am now teaching core French in the afternoon.  It is wonderful to have some stability in my life.  I might only be working almost half time, but it's enough to pay my rent, put gas in the car, and buy groceries.  Plus have a little to have fun like making costumes.

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Job teaching = Happy

Woo hoo!!!! I got on with Kawartha Pine Ridge District School Board!!!!!! I am so excited. The interview process was wonderful. All of my interactions with this board have been warm and friendly. They designed the interview so that applicants could work collaboratively and really showcase their experiences.

Now all I have to do is find a good place to stay. Any one know of anyone in the Perterborough area with a nice apartment?

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Rodent Wrangler

I think I need to add Rodent Wrangler to my resume.



I’ve


  • Moved mice out of the motor of a 1986 Volkswagen Cabriolet

  • Chased chipmunks out of the basement at the cottage

  • Scared squirrels out of our family room



naye I am still keeping up with my magical powers of song.  As I was waiting for my parents to get home to help with the squirrel I stood guard to keep an eye on him so we’d know where him was.  He was squawking and squealing.  I some times talked to him.  I could still hear him complaining as I talked.  Then I started singing.  He quieted right down.  He really didn’t want to leave.  He stayed on the back step as I closed the door behind him.  The next day he was by the patio door.  He put his little paw up as if asking to come back in.  I didn’t open the door.

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MUNCLE Easter Egg

With how busy I've been it was a joy to participate in an Easter Egg writing gift for another MUNCLE fan.  Here's my story with Napoleon and Illya coming back form a mission on a rainy spring day.

Rain, rain, go awayCollapse )

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